This post is written by Anna Blagrove, a part-time PhD researcher in Film, TV, and Media at UEA. Follow them on Twitter at @AnnaBlagrove.

It’s been an eventful few years for me to say the least.  It’s involved a wedding, a busy job, a PhD, teaching, and the birth of two babies.  I’m due to (finally) submit my thesis by the end of this year, and it’s been a long road but a fulfilling and largely positive one. I wanted to share this experience to encourage other women (and men) that becoming a parent and doing a PhD don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

I started my PhD here at UEA in 2012 at the age of 35, just after I got married. I decided to do it part-time because I wanted to keep doing the job that I loved – Education Officer at Cinema City. I wanted to see if I could have it all: a happy home life, a fulfilling career-job, and a fascinating PhD research project on young cinema audiences. A year and half later I was blessed with a baby girl. I took six months off from the PhD and thankfully this was fully paid as I had a UEA studentship. After this, I started back at the research and the job with the help of a very able husband, a wonderful mum (who lives locally) and a nursery place. Then some time later, my second baby girl was born. I took another six months off to be with my new-born and mercifully, again it was fully paid. Ironically, it’s actually been easier having babies as a (funded) PGR than if I was an early career academic having to cope with temporary contracts and minimal maternity benefits. When my youngest was six months old, I went back to the books and soon after, my eldest daughter started school. By then I had accepted a place for my youngest at the UEA Nursery – which is one of the best in the region – and I speak from experience as we had tried a few other settings before we got this place. Good childcare is expensive at approximately £60 per day at most settings, totalling between £500 and £1000 per month for most families. When I was receiving my studentship and earning from my job, this was affordable. I am now in my (un-funded) writing-up year however, and my income has plummeted. The saving grace has been the Child Benefit, Working Tax Credit, and Child Tax Credit that HMRC have awarded me; this pays all the childcare expenses. It seems that this financial help is largely unclaimed by a lot of families – there are various levels of eligibility - so I would recommend all parents look into it.

Being a part-time PhD researcher with two young children has specific challenges. I have found it almost impossible to work at home, even when the house is empty. PhD procrastination is very real, and when you have piles of dirty laundry and a kitchen littered with washing-up, these can easily become the priorities when instead it should be your thesis! This is why I’ve been so grateful for the chance to have my own desk in the PGR study space in the Arts building on campus. It’s a haven of peace and work – with no piles of laundry to distract. In the last two or three years I also feel much more connected to the PGR community, through regular contact with PGRs from all the different Arts and Humanities schools, that use the study space and common room. I’ve got to know colleagues from all over the world and I feel like I’ve made some friendships for life. 

Of course it’s been difficult at times. There are physical, psychological, and practical issues of pregnancy and motherhood that have to be balanced with the academic and administrative demands of doing a PhD and teaching. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t be a perfect PhD candidate – I haven’t had the time or energy to write many articles or attend many conferences for example. Perhaps universities could support parents in academia further by offering childcare options for study days or conferences?

The hardest aspect about being a PGR parent in my opinion, is the constant tension you feel between wanting to be there for your little ones as much as possible and achieving goals for your own future. One day my children will be grown up and will leave home. I’d like to have my own life and successes in order to be a positive role model for my daughters, and not have to experience empty-nest syndrome. I am fortunate in that I am so well supported by family. My daughters are looked after in turn by myself, my husband and my mum, as well as school and nursery. This way they have a variety of close relationships with different family members, as well as the social and educational benefits of attending a good school/nursery.

Oh and did I mention that I was made redundant from that job I loved (regretfully the money ran out)? The silver lining though is that I have since become a co-director of a new business with some ex-colleagues. We have started ‘Reel Connections’ this year; a company that uses film, music, and heritage to engage and connect community groups including the young, the elderly, and those with mental health issues. It’s all very exciting but in the meantime, my thesis needs to get finished, and my girls just keep getting bigger, stronger, funnier, and more beautiful. It’s been a long and eventful journey, but a joyful and life-affirming one – and it’s not over yet!